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ACHIEVEMENT CATEGORIES  ▼

Aomofu's Achievements

Aomofu completed on 2017.06.23:
AomofuLVL 6

Tell someone an interesting story, either true or fictional.

Okay so I told my friend the wonderful story of Cinderella Aomofu edition,
here it is for anyone interested.
DISCLAIMER: THIS STORY MAY CONTAIN OFFENSIVE THEMES, PROFANITY AND OTHER THINGS WHICH MAY RUB YOU THE WRONG WAY. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
And for the edgy fks like me who like weird shit, enjoy I guess?

Okay so,
as we all know, in China they used to have a one child policy.
Raise the Son, abandon the daughter and all that jazz.
Which brings the question, if you trying to marry off your son, but everyone else has a son,
isn't that just a sausage fest?
So anyways, like any other chinese daughter, Cinderella's parents disowned her, much like how
current Chinese parents do if you get any lower than an A+ in school.
So her stepmother decides to adopt her, even though she already has two daughters,
so she's basically breaking the law and thought "Ehhhh I already made one accident, might as well adopt another".
So Cinderella basically works as a slave for this new family, who bee tee dubs, are ugly,
like not even fugly-ugly, its closer to fugly-fugly.
Also Cinderella has issues, like, 'these little mouse are my best friends' sorta issues.
Anyways, every divorce of so, the prince holds a 'lil ball to find a new fuckbuddy, and a wife I guess,
but mostly the fuck buddy.
And Cinderella's stepmother and sisters simulataeneously come up with teh same idea,
"Roses are red,
That motherfucker is rich,
why be a whore when I can be his bitch?"
So they go out to buy their finest dresses, which doesn't turn out well cause every time they try one on,
"what light through yonder window breaks" as Shakespeare kindly puts it.
Anyways they don't like the idea of Cinderblocks for brains becoming the 2nd bitch of the prince so they ground her at home.
Like, "Bitch, no dinna for yu. Yu only got the A on yur lest test!"
"But it's an A" she retorted in perfectly good English despite being Chinese.
"Yeah, A fkn disappointment yu slut." and the ug-fucking-ly stepsister drops teh mic and heads to the ball.
So Cindurrrrr is fkn sad, very sad, like 'a 20yr old virgin male found out he has to get testectomy or die from his dick bleeding out cause he tried to pull a David Cameron, except inside a live pig' kind of sad.
So as any angsty teen does when they're depressed, she reaches out for the cyanide pills, except,
remember she's a dumb bitch who only got an A in an Asian Society, she misses the cyanide pills and pulls out the opium instead.
So now we have a high Cyndella, who's also distributing opium to the mice as if she were the British, and they were the Chinese.
And as payment the mice make her a nice dress, fitting of a call girl.
So she goes on Baidu and searches, "Hao2get2ballsanicfest?"
And the top result is this fairy who charges 5 opium stacks for her service.
But it is A-OKAY cause Weederella is a fkn druglord at this point.
So she calls the fairy and she's all like "hun, you look higher than the roof of any given party with
Morgan Freeman in it".
"fk off dadddddd, it's not a phase, it's just a phasseeeeeee"
So the fairy makes her a chariot to get to the ball with the power of drugs.
And Wackerella is finally at teh ball, looking like a prostitute, but that's okay, since the prince is looking
for a sidebitch anyways.
When she enters the prince is no where to be seen cause he was all like, "You don't need fun to 'av alcohol!"
and everyone else at this party is basically like "I know this party ain't done, but I fkn am".
Anyways, everyman is now oogling the fuck out of Call Girl Cindy, cause y'know, it's one child and I'm done,
but a hooker, those are forever.
From all the commotion the Prince sobers up and sees Cindy and is like,
"A Fuckbuddy by any other shape would be just as fuckable", so he's basically white knighting this hooker infront of
his squadron of white knights, except in China they don't have white knights, they have monks.
"My fair hooker, are you taken?" asks teh prince with a poised looked.
"Yes bitch, taken for granted", and she walks teh fk out, cause she's so done at this point.
And quiet frankly so am I.
So the Chinese Empire decided to ban strippers, opium and fuckbuddies, The End.
The moral of the story is don't do drugs kids. Drugs are for losers and adopted chinese children.

  • +125XP
  • TAL +2
  • CHA +5
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.20:
AomofuLVL 6

Read at least one chapter of a book.

  • +70XP
  • INT +2
  • CUL +2
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.20:
AomofuLVL 6

Play a game with friends.

SSB4

  • +125XP
  • TAL +2
  • CHA +5
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.20:
AomofuLVL 6

Compliment a stranger.

  • +125XP
  • CHA +7
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.20:
AomofuLVL 6

Study or research something.

Today I learnt that Mozart composed a song called "Lick me in the arse" .

  • +125XP
  • INT +5
  • CUL +2
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.19:
AomofuLVL 6

Discover a new band or musician that you enjoy.

Polkadot Stingray is my new jam

  • +70XP
  • CUL +2
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.19:
AomofuLVL 6

Make a list of 5 companies you'd like to someday work for.

- Nintendo
- Square Enix
- Kyoto Animations
- Ufotable
- Studio Pink Pineapple

  • +540XP
  • INT +13
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.19:
Aomofu

Aomofu leveled up to lvl 6!

Aomofu completed on 2017.06.19:
AomofuLVL 6

Read at least one chapter of a book.

Slowly making my way through The five people you meet in Heaven

  • +70XP
  • INT +2
  • CUL +2
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.19:
AomofuLVL 5

Practice juggling.

After about 20 minutes, it ended up about as badly as trying to mug a pro wrestler.

  • +150XP
  • TAL +8
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.19:
AomofuLVL 5

Call a friend or relative just to chat for a bit.

  • +70XP
  • CHA +3
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.19:
AomofuLVL 5

Make a list of your goals, short term and long term.

Short Term:
Get into a good Uni
Finish Fire Emblem Echoes
Finish 7th Dragon III Code: VFD
Work on my habits

Long Term:
Get so good at drawing that I can become a Doujinshi Artist

  • +450XP
  • INT +9
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.19:
AomofuLVL 5

Read or watch the news.

Always watch the news while eating dinner. Sometimes something interesting comes up y'know?

  • +100XP
  • INT +2
  • CUL +4
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.19:
AomofuLVL 5

Watch an instructional video tutorial.

  • +85XP
  • INT +1
  • TAL +1
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.19:
AomofuLVL 5

Learn to tie a different type of knot.

I'll probably never use the Double Overhand, but if I ever do it's there now.

  • +150XP
  • INT +6
  • TAL +6
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.19:
AomofuLVL 5

Watch a foreign language film from another country.

The scenery/backgrounds in "The Garden of Words" is actually top tier in my opinion.

  • +100XP
  • CUL +6
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.19:
AomofuLVL 5

Play a board or card game.

  • +70XP
  • INT +1
  • TAL +1
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.19:
AomofuLVL 5

Memorize the lyrics to a song.

Nerds (by Bo Burnham)

I'm a faggot, a retard. I've got a girl's bag and a V-card.
I've got three friends and a whack-ass ride, you tell 'cause it's shitty on the inside.
No girls want to fuck me, trust me. I don't give a fuck, don't adjust me.
Just please shut your face hole for one second.
"Fuck you faggot your so fucking dumb".
Dumb? I'm the dumb one? Calm down, Bo, just count to 10 um...
One, two, three, whore, I mean four, shit.
Three, four, five, bitch, I mean six, shit.
I quit, I got no patience, you won, I'll face.
Your life peaks at graduation, well, congradu-fucking-lations.
Nerds, the faggots, the spastic fat chick who sits in the back with no one to do their lab with.
The Nerds, the kid with acne, and tons of proactiv packed inside his backpack, I've got your back kid.
And do you why kid, I can rap so mean?
'Cause I was reading while you were fucking the prom queen.
Huddled up reading, no lacrosse team.
"Huddle up, huddle up"
What? You lost me.
Sorry bro, did I interrupt thee? Circle a' jerks all circle-jerking.
I need saving? No, fuck no.
Quote the raven? No, fuck Poe.
Ah, shit, I'm bitching, listening.
They don't know what they're missing.
For instance, I like poetry, I like instruments.
Maybe we have similar interests?
But it's no fall balls, no balls fall.
Just sit and scrawl at the stall walls.
At three p.m., I pause. That shit sounds like applause.
Nerds, he faggots, the spastic fat chicks who sit in the back with no one to do their lab with.
The Nerds, kid with acne and tons of proactiv packed inside his backpack, I got your back, kid.
Nerds, he faggots, the spastic fat chicks who sit in the back with no one to do their lab with.
The Nerds, kid with acne and tons of proactiv packed inside his backpack, I got your back, back, back...
She stood in line and got cut.
Tried out, got cut.
Loved art, but the budget got cut.
Then, she got numb, and she only felt when she knelt and cut.
Nerds, Nerds, Nerds, Nerds
Nerds, he faggots, the spastic fat chicks who sit in the back with no one to do their lab with.
The Nerds, kid with acne and tons of proactiv packed inside his backpack, I got your back, kid.
I know it's bad, kid.
I got your back, kid.

  • +100XP
  • TAL +4
  • CUL +4
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.19:
AomofuLVL 5

Do jumping jacks.

Is 100 enough?

  • +150XP
  • STR +6
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.19:
Aomofu

Aomofu leveled up to lvl 5!

Aomofu completed on 2017.06.19:
AomofuLVL 5

Go see a live musical performance.

  • +125XP
  • CUL +5
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.18:
AomofuLVL 4

Read The Art of War by Sun Tzu

Sun Tzu is my boy

  • +100XP
  • INT +2
  • CUL +2
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.18:
AomofuLVL 4

Play a game with friends.

Eye Spy

  • +125XP
  • TAL +2
  • CHA +5
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.18:
AomofuLVL 4

Do something you find relaxing.

Impossible Bullet Hells are hella relaxing

  • +70XP
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.18:
AomofuLVL 4

Write a piece of poetry.

No Fetish Shaming
Unless you like NTR
NTR is wrong

  • +70XP
  • INT +2
  • TAL +3
  • CUL +1
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.18:
AomofuLVL 4

Read The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

  • +70XP
  • INT +1
  • CUL +1
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.18:
AomofuLVL 4

Wake up to your alarm clock without hitting snooze.

  • +70XP
  • STR +1
Aomofu completed on 2017.06.18:
AomofuLVL 4

Read Animal Farm by George Orwell

  • +85XP
  • INT +1
  • CUL +1